Caffeinated

I am not sleepy at all.... I drank tea after dinner. Must not do that again!!! It's past midnight and i want to sleep but my eyes are wideeee open. I had cookies with my tea. It's almond thin and it's so good. I ate 10 of them and just blew up my diet. Im hungry again now hahaa... So bad.

I talked to my mom earlier today. She told me that one of my cousins is pregnant. It's a great news but not really because she has lupus. She had miscarriage a couple of years ago. It's very dangerous for her to be pregnant, it can be deadly. I told my mom that I couldnt believe that they tried that hard to have a baby, knowing that it can be deadly for her and the baby. I mean, she can lose her life. My mom said that her husband really wants to have a baby. Then somehow we went on talking about me and my kidney problem. She told me that it's better for me not to have kids. I told her that I really really want to have kids someday. I know that all of the doctors have told me that it's pretty risky for me to get pregnant but by the time I'm ready, you know, technology will be much advanced. I couldnt understand why my cousin is risking her life to have a baby and there I was, trying to convince my mom that it will be fine for me to have kids. I guess I can somehow understand my cousin's feelings now. I know that you can adopt but it's different. It's still a long way to go for me and I shouldn't be worrying about this but maybe I can do something now that will affect how it is will be in the future, such as living a healthier lifestyle. Urrghhh it's hard, especially the alcohol.... haha... Yes girls, I'm sure you all know, how much I adore those beers and shots hahahaha.... Wow, I didnt plan to blabber all this depressing stuff, must be the caffeine.

Mysterious

I had a dream last night. It was a really short dream but left a lasting impression. It started with me going for a job interview for an IE position. I guess I miss doing IE stuff so I dream about it ehehe. So the interviewer showed me around the factory and introduced me to some of the people there. One of them is him. He was standing on the side, smiling. I'm pretty sure he's an engineer as well, he's indonesian too. We talked (in indonesian) for a bit and I felt this strange feeling. A connection... But then I woke up, I was shocked probably... because he kissed me aahaha... It's weird... well it's a dream. Still though... who could that be. I wonder if I could ever meet him.

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning and the rain is not falling. Lately, the weather is always nice on Sundays, which sucks for me because I have a homework and quiz due at 9pm. I always start doing them after church... yessss call me a slacker! I can't help it haha... I dont like online classes. I always wake up pretty early on Sunday eventhough I slept at 4 am. Well, apparently my apartment walls are pretty thin. I could hear my neighbors talking or maybe it's the TV, I'm not sure. Anyway... I woke up this morning and my feet hurts, it's swollen a bit. Hahhaha which took me back to last night. Citra, hakim, and fani were sitting upstairs, I was at the bar but then Caroline went upstairs, so I followed her. Chit chat for a bit then I went back to the bar quickly because some of our friends are waiting there. Soooo when I was running down the stairs, I missed the last step!!!!! Oh my goshhh.... Luckily I fell on my knee instead on my face!!! When I got up, I saw these faces were looking at me. They're laughing and probably thought I was drunk hahaha... I grab one of their hands and just laughing with them *didnt know how to react exactly*. None of my friends saw this by the way.

Change to another topic. I am determined to lose weight and tone my body. I am going to use this blog as my food diary and hopefully it will help me realizing how much junk I eat. I know I mention this losing weight thing a lot but this time I will make sure that I am going to suffer!!! I have 2 months until my trip to hawaii. I wanna look good :( so friends... help mee yaaa hahaha

Pop Corn

I just gotta post this right away. Ok, I just got done with my exam. I was not concentrated at all!!! My stomach is growling the entire period of the exam. It's like a pop corn machine!!!!! It keeps making sound and won't stop huaaaaaaaaa. I was sooooo embarrassed. I was not hungry, I just ate. I did not know where the air was coming from.... hix... malu abis. You know when you're stomach is growling and then you try to stop it, so you tightened it but then when I do it, I just made it worst. There's this one time when the sound is enormously loud and long!!!!! Oh my gosh... shame shame

Funny and Cute

Really funny, the landlady is cute!!!

Oh no

Here I am, cleaning up my room on Friday night. It is so messy I can't stand it. So I was tidying my jewelry box when I realized that I lost a necklace that Hendy gave to me. It's from Tiffany's!!!! Huaaaaaa... I dont know if i misplaced it or what, but it is not in its jewelry bag. I couldnt even remember the last time I wore it. I'm sure I wore it in the club. Oh my my... I am so sad... Hopefully I can find it somewhere... Please please please.