Another dilemma

I cant believe I'm faced with this dilemma. I've experienced it last year and it happens again. Should I go home or stay? If I go home, I have to leave the states by late August, which is in 3 months. I am so not ready for that. I am not ready to say goodbye to Seattle, which means I have to go back to school. I have 2 options: get a master's degree or get a certificate. Master's degree is 2 years with no break while certificate is 1 year but it's a certificate only and it's in college, it's not even a certificate that i want to take. Huaaa... I am very disappointed with city u. they decided to offer online classes for their graduate certificate which means international students are not elligible because to get the I20, I have to be in class. They're the only one who offers certificate in finance!!! It was all perfect before. I could go home at the beginning of next year, I have some basic knowledge about finane.

What I should do is probably go back home and help my parents. That way, I can save all my money that I've collected so far by working at UPS and my parents dont have to pay for my graduate school. What I want to do is stay in Seattle a bit longer, probably get my master's degree because it's only a year difference than a certificate. Then I can go back to jakarta this summer, get a new visa, pickup my lil bro, renew my passport and be happy. If adam decides to stay in canada, I can visit him also because I will have my visa. tututututu....

I hate goodbyes

My boyfriend went back to windsor yesterday, hehe still not used to calling him my bf. You know, we're a new couple, everything still look oh so sweet. Dont wanna be a pessimist but usually this happy happy feeling only last for 6 months ahhaa... but i think it depends on the person. we'll see how this goes. I am really happy now and it's weird because I hate long distance relationship. Based on past experience, I've never been successful in maintaining long distance relationship but I've changed a lot, more mature now. I'm willing to work hard to make this work.

He left me 2 notes in my room before he left. I found the first one, it was under my laptop. I've been searching for the second one but couldnt find it!!! I've asked for hints but still cant find it and he wont let me know where it is... Sigh... A bit annoyed right now cause i've searched all over the place. My room is a total mess hhehe... as usual... Huaaa i miss him... hix hix....

How Bizarre

This week has been very interesting for me so far... On Monday, in Spokane, I almost burned down the hotel ahha... In the hotel, they serve cookies and I loooveee their white chocolate chip cookie... it's really really good. So, after dinner, I took 3 cookies from the lobby and brought it to my room. Then when I was watching TV, I decided to re-heat my cookie in the microwave. The microwave is a bit old school so the timer is not digital. I dont remember how long did i set the timer for. I just left it there but then I smell something burning... and huaaaaaaa smoke was coming out of the microwave. There's a fire detector right above the microwave too.. I opened the door and tried to let the smoke out and I was praying so that it wouldnt ring but too lateeeee.... the bell was so loud and everyone came out of their room. hix hix... I said sorry to them though. the hotel manager called me the cookie burner gal... great... The room was so smelly alsoooo... it happened on monday and I had to stay there till Thursday... so you can imagine my suffering... I hope they didnt charge me for messing up with the alarm and for making the room smell like burnt cookie haha...

Then, on Wednesday, which is yesterday, when I was still doing time study, my nose was bleeding!!!! It was pretty hot in Spokane and the city is very dry, not humid like Seattle. So i think I was dehydrated. My hands were all covered with blood, I asked the driver to get me my jacket from the back because i want to get my tissue, but then I remembered i put softex in the same pocket as the tissue, I didnt want the driver to dig through the pocket and found it!!! I quickly grab the jacket and get the tissue ahhaha... I was kinda rough when grabbing the jacket from his hand, hopefully he didnt think that I was jutek haha...

the same day, the guy that I'm kinda closed to, decided not to come to Seattle. well, he's still debating whether or not he should come here. Plin plan bgt! Very annoying sometimes. I just hope it's gonna get better this weekend.

I just saw Pussycat dolls new video "buttons" on yahoo music. The vocalist is super hottt... I love her... Too bad I cant watch their concert :( they're performing in Spokane too but I dont wanna go there alone, I'm sure none of my coworkers want to see them or Black eyed peas. I know one driver that's going there but they've bought the tickets already. Speaking of hot girls, Nicole Kidman is super hot in The interpreter. Nicole kidmand and the PCD vocalist (nicole schlezinger) make me wants to become a lesbian ahhaha.... and they're both have the same nameeeee hauhuahuaa..... funny.

You dont know me

You give your hand to me
Then you say helloI can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

You don't know me by Michael Buble. I like this song eversince I watch last Monday's How I met your mother. I love that sitcom, it's so funny and refreshing. This particular episode was very romantic also... ahh cant wait to see the next episode. My last blog entry was in november, and now it's the end of january... wow... havent had the time to update my blog. Been busy with work and setting up my new place. I cant believe how hard it is for me to be organized. It's just my nature to be messy ahaha... Everytime I look at my room, I get so frustrated but then I do nothing. Whenever I start cleaning up my room, I get distracted with the computer. I tried turning off the computer but I need music and radio has too many commercials. bohooo... Slowly but sure... I know I can change and be more organized!!! Speaking of cleaning up my room, writing this blog is also a distraction. I still have laundry on my bed - waiting to be folded, but what do i do now... Yup, I write a blog... and Im getting sleepy too... This weekend I did nothing, just being lazy and daydreaming about stuff heuhue...

There's this one guy that I dont really know that well but I cant seem to keep him off my mind. I dont talk to him that much, I rarely see him, but there's always things that reminds me of him. Ok, I thought maybe it was only just a crush, never see him again for about 1-2 weeks or so. Just when I thought I have no feelings for him what-so-ever, I saw him and there's butterfly in my stomach. I didnt even say hi to him, I just passed by him. Gosh, what an Idiot!!! 2 more weeks passed by and once again I was sure it was only just a stupid crush but then somebody mention his name in front of me. There's always something that reminds me of him... aahhh... I think I've changed. I used to be very aggressive when it comes to guys. If I like that guy, I would make a move right away, but not anymore... I'm shy now haha... Maybe I forgot how to do it hehe... been single for almost a year now, wow... time flies... I guess I'm used to being alone now... Feels empty sometimes but I havent found that somebody, I havent found my Mr. Right
Why do I keep thinking about guys? Haih... what a waste of time right hehe...
I guess I better get back to cleaning up my room or... go to bed

Shopaholic

I think I consider myself as a shopaholic or maybe Shopaholic in the making haha... I go shopping every week. It's getting worse but I love it though. I think shopping help me go through my problems. Whenever I have a lot of things in my mind or whenever I'm stressed out, I just go shopping. After that, I just feel more relaxed although my wallet becomes tighter ahha... What am I supposed to do? It's in the gene hauhaa... Yeah, that's the easiest thing, just blame your parents. Well, they do love shopping. Shopping is funnnn.... I love going shopping alone or with my mom coz I can take my time. Makes me wanna go shopping again tomorrow. Lately I've been going to express all the time and shopping on work clothes. I need to go to other stores!!! I really wanna go to urban outfitters, I always get their email every week and I've been "window shopping" from the internet every week. Havent had a chance to go to the stores and browse. Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow, maybe i should go straight from work.

Haih... Life is interesting!!! Right now I'm typing this blog on my laptop. Feeling a bit like carrie, minus the wine and smoke. I just bought 3 bottles of wine and only spent $13 heuhe... cheapo! I went to a ghetto supermarket hehe... it's a great deal though. Should i open a bottle?
I'm watching ellen degeneres show right now... She's so funny. I really love her talk show. I'm just rambling and talking with no topics at all. Oh well, who cares, this is my blog, I can do whatever I want right? hihi...

Music Album

I just remember about this. My dad told me about this before but I just noticed it again. Do you guys notice that in the music CD, usually the single or the famous song is placed on track 1 or track 3. I just checked my albums and most of the singers put their first single on track 1 or track 3. Ok, it makes sense to put it on track 1 because listeners would want to hear it right away when they play the CD or cassette. But why no 3 though... hmmm...

4 wonderful years!

Exactly 4 years ago, on this date, I came to Seattle with mixed feelings. I was scared, excited, sad, happy, and lonely. I can't believe how much I've grown and how much I've learned. 4 years gone by really really fast... ckckck... I have a lot of memories scattered all over Seattle. I still remember the first day I step foot in Seattle. I thought, hmm... the airport was crappy. I was kinda disappointed because I was expecting the airport to be nice and elegant. After all, it's america!!! So I thought, oh damn.. the airport is like this... What will the city be like... Well, I wasnt feeling disappointed anymore after I drove by downtown... Seattle is gorgeous, with the Space needle, the water, the mountain... I fell in love right away :) Luckily Sea-Tac airport was renovated, it's all pretty now haha... well, it's still in progress but still, it's a LOT better than 4 years ago. I think of Seattle as my hometown now ^-^ Happy 4th anniversary of me being here :P

Just like Heaven

Just came back from watching Just like Heaven. I know it's a cliche romantic comedy type of movie but i just loveeee that kind of movie. That's why it's called chick flick - girls love to watch silly romantic comedy movie that makes them dreamed of having been in that situation. Well I'm one of them ahhaa... and it's pretty hard to watch chick flick when you're single. Makes me wanna be like the leading role and experience the fun-romantic life. But being single is not too bad. I'm actually enjoying it. It's nice to have a space of your own. I like being alone lately, don't know why... I like to just chill at home, watch tv or dvd and read books. I read book every night before I go to bed and I love it. A couple of months ago, when I was still unemployed, I like to go to the park and read books. Sat on a bench in gasworks park, watched the view of downtown seattle plus lake union... I hope I got it right, I'm still kinda confused with lake union and lake washington... dunno which one is which... but I think I got it right this time ahhaa... Oh how I love this city ^ ^

Speaking of Just like heaven, Mark Ruffalo is so cute in the movie... He's adorable... I just wanna squeeze him. I wanna watch that movie again... It's so entertaining and Reese witherspoon is a doll... Her acting was so good.

I better start getting ready to go to bed... I'm helping citra moving into her new apartment. Should be fun... Don't treat us like slave yaaa hahaha... I think we get free dinner and a movie lol... just kidding gurl... hmmm now I want some ice cream... yummy banana ice cream...
Im going to the gym tomorrow so what the heck, Ice cream at nite is so yummy

Gotta make up my mind!

I have a lot of things in my mind right now. Can't seem to figure things out. Aarrghhh... I wish i can just press an easy button like in the Staples ad. and everything will be solved. Well these challenges and obstacles make life more interesting, aren't they? I just cant stand the feeling when I dont know exactly what to do. I feel so lost right now...

My mom text messaged me a couple of days ago, asking me if i got a job yet. Well, I told her that I'm still looking and so far, there's no job offer. She said my dad's company is very busy right now. If I havent gotten a job yet, why not go home and help them. She doesnt want to force me to go back but just to let me know that they could use a hand. I'm torn... I dont wanna leave Seattle, I really love this city but on the other hand, I'm doing nothing here and I'm so bored. If I go back to Jakarta, I can help my dad which is my dream since I was in junior high but I want to have some experience first before helping my dad. I'm just gonna wait till December. If there's no job offer until that time, I will leave Seattle for good. Huaaaa.. just thinking about that makes me sad.
Aja aja Fighting!!!! Lol, I'm so corny...

Spacelabs design team rulez

My senior design team won the first place for the senior design project competition and we won $1000. Out of ten groups and we were the first one. So excited!!! I'm really proud of our team, we worked hard and we're really close to each other too. Since there are 10 groups this year, so there are 5 winners. fifth place went to Amgen, fourth place to everett shipyard, third place went to KSF which is Anissa's group and second place went to Starbucks 1, which is Citra and Edu's group. Indo rulez haha... I must say we were the best dressed group haha.. We wore suit and looked professional hahaa... We know that we will be in top 3, at least top 5 but when Prof. Storch start mentioning the name of the winners starting from fifth place, my heart was pounding really fast. Couldn't really think clearly hehe... The four of us just holding each other and when they mention the second place winner, I started to lose hope hahah... but thennnnn... he said the winner is Spacelabs... I was jumping around and the group hudled hahaha... priceless moment.... I should have video taped that... oh well... I have it all in my mind anyways... Another priceless moment was anissa's reaction when her group got third place, she was sooo shocked, it was so funny!!! Things happen when least expected. I still can't believe that our group won first place. Such an honor because all of the other groups did a great job, tough competition too...

So we celebrate at Tia lou's later that night... A lot of IEs showed up and it was fun... The place was jammed packed though, so hot... but they have an outside deck which is nice... I only drank 1 apple martini but I was drunk, it was strong compared to the bada's. Ok, I have to start cleaning my room and my apt. My parents are coming this monday and I need to do a lot of cleaning... ^^

2 school days left

Wow... 4 years have gone by extremely fast!!!! This Friday will be the very last school day for me and we will be presenting our poster for the senior design project. I'm pretty excited but sad at the same time. I'm surely gonna miss my IE friends. They are all cool people and it's fun to hang out in the IE lab and talk to them about random stuff. Hopefully we can all have fun at the club again this Friday. At this point, I dont really care about winning the senior design project. I'm happy that we've finished it and I learned quite a lot from this project. My team members are awesome too... Never knew that I could become so close with them (blink) hahaha... Thankfully I didnt decide to go back straight home after graduation. Thanks to all my friends who convinced me to stay here at the state. I'm just so blessed to have a chance to go to Seattle to get my bachelor's degree. I've grown so much in the past 4 years. Learn to be independent, meeting new people, making new friends, adapting to the culture, etc. Uu I better take a shower, I'm going to the hair salon at 11 hihi... I just love going to salon, I love pampering myself ahha.. Especially in indo, where I can get manicure and pedicure for really cheap. Oh and creambath too hahaha....

Sad Moment

Seattle Supersonics lost the second round of playoff to San Antonio Spurs (96-98). It was a great game though. Sonics did their best but it's just not their time to win the ring. Aargghh I am so sad... I was crying after they lost. We could never see this team again next year. The coach, nate mcmillan might be gone and Ray Allen, my hero, might be gone too because Sonics doesnt have the money to sign them for next season. That's why I am so sad right now. If they have the money to renew the contract for the entire free agent players in sonics' team, I would not be this sad. I can count on them to win it next year. Unfortunately, that might not happen. Oh Howard Schultz please sign Ray Allen and McMillan pleaseeee.... oh and other free agent players too hehe...
All we can do now is wait for the news and pray!!! Hix hix hix so sad.... Seattle Supersonics, in my heart you guys are still the winners. Love you all!!!!

Sports and Life

I missed American idol yesterday because I watched the sonics game. Although we lost, I still believe in sonics and I hope they can win game 6 @ home. I really want Sonics to win... I was so down yesterday. It's funny how we can get so emotionally involved with sports. Well sports is some sort of entertainment... but you can get very sad when your favorite team lost or you can be so psyched when they win, eventhough you dont really "know" them hehe... And what's in it for you when they win? For some people, maybe they bet, so they want them to win for money. For me personally, sometimes I look up to them, I see them as an idol and I want them to win because it sort of gives me an encouragement. They win a game and beat the other team, well that gives me encouragement to do well in life. You have to beat those obstacles and reach for your goal. I know it's a bit corny haha... I used to like David beckham a lot and I am so amazed with his determination in reaching what he wants. After the world cup incident with Argentina, he was boo-ed wherever he played and he did not give up, he gave all his best to his fans although his fans mocked him. Finally, he's able to prove to the fans that he's still the best (sort of haha). It is ok if you messed up once in a while. Nobody is perfect anyway. You just have to get back on your feet and fix that problem. You have to prove to the world that you're capable of being the best.

Sports/games really reflects life. You have to beat your opponents to win (you'll have to face challenges in order to get what you want in life); Sometimes you lose, and sometimes you win (in life, you don't always get what you want, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down); You need to communicate with your teammate/coach in order to win (you need to communicate with your parents/friends/co-worker/spouse); You need fans to support you (you need your friends and family to support you in what u do), etc etc...

Extreme makeover

I saw 2 extreme makeover show today and I cried on both show haha... I'm such a cry baby but the story was so touching!!! The first one is the extreme makeover home edition, there's this firefighter who saved a paramedic's life. The paramedic got shot and the firefighter risk his life to save her by rushing to her side eventhough the shooter still shooting around that area. I cried when the paramedic told that story, well she was crying while telling the story and that's why I sort of cried too... The house is so prettyyy and the rooms are so cool especially the girl's room. She has her own private spa ahh so nice....

And the second extreme makeover show is the wedding edition. This guy is a cancer survivor for 4 times now, what a strong guy and now he needs a heart transplant because chemotherapy ruins his heart. So he can't afford to pay for the wedding. He met his girlfriend, which is his wife now, at a fundraising event for cancer people. He's the key speaker for that event and I'm not sure what did she do, maybe she's the event organizer (not sure). Ok, so they met there and the relationship grew from there. I'm so amazed with them. The girl knows that this guy is sick and maybe doesnt have much time left but she still wants to marry him and be by his side. he doesnt have a job because of his sickness, he can't support the family but the girl doesn't care. That is true love my friend ^ ^ I once thought that if I ever be in that situation, I also don't care and still want to marry my bf. But then, I had this talk with hendy about this what if situation and I started to question my thought. It's easy to say that you're still going to marry that guy eventhough he doesn't have much time left but if you're really in that position, will you still be able to do that though? Talk is easy... Personally, I don't know if I can handle that pressure and knowing that your bf might die anytime and you're gonna be left alone broken hearted. Wow.... that's too much for me to bear, at least for now... What do you guys think? Any comments?

It's not really over hahha

Ok, in my previous post I said that my relationship with my bf is over but I was just thinking that it's not really over yet. I'm still hopeful that we can go back together hehee... I'm still in love with him and we broke up because of situation and not because of our feelings for each other. We still care so much for each other. As a farewell gift, I gave him a memory book filled with our pictures for the last 3 years that we've known each other. I have all the captions for each of the pictures and after he finished looking at all of the pictures he said that at the last page I should add "to be continued..." Meaning that there are gonna be more memory books filled with our pictures for many years ahead... God knows till when ehhee... Sooo I'm still hopeful... If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.

Huaaaa I miss him so much... I said something bad about him to my friends and that made me feel so awful... Why did I have to say such negative thing? Nobody is perfect.... I'm not perfect.... I have done many bad stuff too and he never reminded me of any of that. I thought that by saying bad stuff about him, I can feel more relief and not feeling sad that I've broken up with him. But I was wrong... I feel even worse than before...

Kisah Kita tlah usai

Ello- Kisah kita tlah usai

Perpisahan mu denganku

Tak pernah aku inginkan


Namun tetap aku yakin ini yang terbaik

Reff:
Mungkin kisah kita tlah usai

Tak demikian cintaku

Berakhir memang tlah berakhir


Namun kutetap bersyukur

Lupakan saja diriku

Melangkahlah jangan kau sedih

Aku mengerti sungguh berat dan tak mudah

Bridge:
Cintaku kan selalu tetap utuh padamu

Walau berpisah namun hatiku bersama mu

I love this song. The lyrics fit perfectly with me. I downloaded this song the day I broke up with my boo :) Then I listened to this song while looking at our pictures. Pretty sad moment but I have to move on. Everything happens for a reason....

Sonics is so superrrrr

Lol my title is pretty corny... but I dont care... Sonics rocks!!! I just got back from my first ever playoff game and I had a blast... Sonics won 105-93 to SUCKramento... Haha I stole this term from Stanley... But yes Kings suck especially the starters. The bench players played better than the starters., well that's what I thought. Well if they suck, it's an advantage for us hihi... Can't wait to see the next game. I have to give props to Jerome James, he becomes a very valuable assets to Sonics... He contributed a lot these past 2 games. We were sitted on the very last row on the 200 level seats but it was so much funnn... I could stand whenever I want and the view was not that bad.

Tips for stressed out people: If you're having a bad day or a bad week, just like I did hahaha... go to Sonics game and screammmmmm or yell as loud as you can... It will make you feel better. It made me feel better and made me forgot about things that stresses me out. Oh what a fun night! I love Sonicsss... Thank you Ray Allen, Rashard Lewis, Vladi Radmanovic, Jerome James, Luke Ridnour, Antonio Daniels, Danny Fortson, Nick Collison, Reggie Evans, and Damien Wilkins for making my day... Yayyyy

In love with Nicole Kidman

I just watched the interpreter and I am sooo in love with nicole kidman right now. I'm exaggerating a lil bit hahaha... But she is so pretty and I just love how she looks in that movie. Me and Citra are crazy about her right now ahha... We are like two little girls who are talking about boys but we're talking about nicole kidman instead. I even have her picture on my desktop wallpaper. So silly haha...

David benoit rocks!

I just got back from jazz alley. David benoit was so cool. We even took a picture with him ahhaha... and I was standing next to him. I really enjoyed his performance. He was soo funny... He played all these theme song from movies such as james bond, mission impossible and even austin powers... hahha... Of course it was all improvising. And I love his songs now... It's so much better than the one you heard on the album because he improvise it on stage and I love to hear people being creative and just having fun with it. I wanna see his performance again!!!

Jazz alley has this dessert called pear crumbs and I really really like it. So I was so excited when I ordered them and can't wait to eat it. But then, the waitress came back and told us that they're out of pear crumbs. I was soooooo disappointed... so I ordered truffle ganache tart, it's a semi sweet chocolate cake and it was good too but not as good as the pear crumbs... I ate a lot lately.... my senior design team members were surprised to see me eat that much. I often have lunch with them so they know how much I eat. Well, I'm kinda small so they thought that I don't eat that much but... they're wrong!!!!! I eat everything and a lot of them too.... I should watch my figure now before it's too late. My metabolism is not as good as 4 years ago... I realize that I have a tummy now ahhaha... But I'm so lazy when it comes to exercise soooo I bought this striptease exercise video by carmen electra. Hopefully it will motivate me to exercise more. Me and the girls are gonna meet a couple of times a week to do this exercise together wohooo... We dont have a pole though ahhaha... maybe we can use a standing lamp hauhaua... that's so lame... Hmm... I wanna eat strawberry now...

What a nice day

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the wind is blowing... It's such a nice today but it's getting hot in herreee.... Can't imagine the temperature in summer. I just watched this northwest afternoon show and Giada de laurentiis was on the show. She is so cute and I loveee her recipes. They are so easy to make and I just bought her cookbook hehe... I think I like Italian food ever since I visit Italy. Now, I cook Italian food most of the time. And there's this one muscular guy on that northwest afternoon show. I check his website musclegourmet.com. I read his bio and was surprised. He graduated from UW with a degree in biochem and microbiology but then he went to culinary school. Now, he's a cook... a muscular one I believe... I think it's more common now that people have careers that are not related to what they are studying in college. Maybe they found their passion in other field when they were in college, just like this muscle gourmet guy. I know for sure that I'm going to have a career in manufacturing industry so I won't waste my parents' money studying IE. Unless I become a housewife.. :( That's a career which I don't wanna think about right now. I won't get married that soon so I'll concentrate on improving my father's business.